Reflections

So this year has been filled with many ups and downs. I'm glad to see it over and am looking forward to the year ahead. I have experienced the death of too many friends that were taken far too early. With their passing, a light left the world but they spread so much joy and love that they will never be forgotten.

When things like this happen, I often feel guilt for not reaching out more often. We can never know how long we are on this world or how long we have with those around us. I've never been able to deal with death because it never actually seems like that person is gone but when I think of reaching out, that's when it hits me like a ton of bricks. I realize I can no longer reach out to them to send a smile or grab a coffee to catch up.

On top of these things, it puts so much else in perspective of how much little annoyances don't matter. I try all the time to not dwell on those things so I don't give them so much power but it happens. I dealt with some massive depression but went through the proper steps to come out the other side.

I dealt with the loss of a job I enjoyed, a move from a city that put me closer to my family, and the ending of a relationship that should've ended long before it did. To say the least, it's been a rough year. It has led me to a lot of self-reflection and internalization that is always the case. I have taken responsibility for my part of these situations and have grown from the lessons that I needed to learn.

I know this post sounds really bad at the start but the best part of all this is the lessons learned and where I am today. I am going into the New Year with even more optimism than I've had in a long time. I have a good job, a great place, amazing friends and a very loving family. I went home for Christmas and completely felt like my old self again. It's been so long since I've felt this way. I am reflecting on the decisions I've made, realizing where I can improve, and remembering those I've lost with smiles. Their time may have been short but they brought so much joy to so many.

I have also found my faith one more time, which is amazing. I had ignored it for so long but it's back and I'm beaming. (Atheists, leave your comments elsewhere.) I am not a religious person but I do have faith. I don't count myself into any specific religion because my belief is that my faith is too large to be encumbered by just one religion.

Side note:

With all of this personal stuff happening, I'm also reminded of the amount of vitriol we've had to endure with the Presidential Race. I have never known such racism and hate being spewed from candidates and to see their numbers rising each time they say more of it scares me. We have to stand up and make sure the ignorant voices are not overcrowding the educated ones. Those who yell loudest must not be heard the most.

As we all start this New Year, I urge you to stand up for what you believe. When you hear or say something that you believe is racist, bigoted, homophobic, judgmental, or just plain wrong, reflect for a moment before you say it out loud. As they say "It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool than open it and remove all doubt."

Reflect on your beliefs. Reflect on your current mindset. Reflect on the past year. Reflect on how you treat others.

…reflect in the positive and make that light shine.